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Volume 11      Number 6

June 29, 2009
 

SELF-RELIANCE TIPS

Buying a Used Car

Before you start shopping for a car, you'll need to do some homework. Spending time now may save you serious money later. Think about your driving habits, your needs, and your budget. You can learn about car models, options, and prices by reading newspaper ads, both display and classified. There is a wealth of information about used cars on the Internet. Google the key words "used car" and you'll find information on how to buy a used car, detailed instructions for conducting a pre-purchase inspection, and ads for cars available for sale, among other information. Libraries and book stores also have publications that compare car models, options, and costs, and offer information about frequency-of-repair records, safety tests, and mileage. Many of these publications have details on the do's and don'ts of buying a used car.

Once you've narrowed your car choices, research the frequency of repair and maintenance costs on the models in auto-related consumer magazines. Consumer Reports and others report on frequency-of-repai issues and the U.S. Department of Transportation's Auto Safety Hotline (1-800-424-9393) gives information on recalls.

Payment Options

You have two choices: pay in full or finance over time. If you finance, the total cost of the car increases. That's because you're also paying for the cost of credit, which includes interest and other loan costs. You'll also have to consider how much you can put down, your monthly payment, the length of the loan, and the annual percentage rate (APR). Keep in mind that annual percentage rates usually are higher and loan periods generally are shorter on used cars than on new ones.

Dealers and lenders offer a variety of loan terms and payment schedules. Shop around, compare offers, and negotiate the best deal you can. Be cautious about advertisements offering financing to first-time buyers or people with bad credit. These offers often require a big down payment and a high APR. If you agree to financing that carries a high APR, you may be taking a big risk. If you decide to sell the car before the loan expires, the amount you receive from the sale may be far less than the amount you need to pay off the loan. If the car is repossessed or declared a total loss because of an accident, you may be obligated to pay a considerable amount to repay the loan even after the proceeds from the sale of the car or the insurance payment have been deducted. If your budget is tight, you may want to consider paying cash for a less expensive car rather than take the risk of serious financial and/or credit problems..

If you decide to finance, make sure you understand the following aspects of the loan agreement before you sign any documents:

  • the exact price you're paying for the vehicle;
  • the amount you're financing;
  • the finance charge (the dollar amount the credit will cost you);
  • the APR (a measure of the cost of credit, expressed as a yearly rate);
  • the number and amount of payments; and
  • the total sales price (the sum of the monthly payments plus the down payment)

Dealer Sales

Used cars are sold through a variety of outlets: franchise and independent dealers, rental car companies, leasing companies, and used car superstores. You can even buy a used car on the Internet. Ask friends, relatives and co-workers for recommendations. You may want to call your local consumer protection agency, state Attorney General (AG), and the Better Business Bureau (BBB) to find out if any unresolved complaints are on file about a particular dealer.

Some dealers are attracting customers with "no-haggle prices," "factory certified" used cars, and better warranties. Consider the dealer's reputation when you evaluate these ads.

Dealers are not required by law to give used car buyers a three-day right to cancel. The right to return the car in a few days for a refund exists only if the dealer grants this privilege to buyers. Dealers may describe the right to cancel as a "cooling-off" period, a money-back guarantee, or a "no questions asked" return policy. Before you purchase from a dealer, ask about the dealer's return policy, get it in writing and read it carefully.

The Federal Trade Commission's (FTC) Used Car Rule requires dealers to post a Buyers Guide in every used car they offer for sale. This includes light-duty vans, light-duty trucks, demonstrators, and program cars. Demonstrators are new cars that have not been owned, leased, or used as rentals, but have been driven by dealer staff. Program cars are low-mileage, current-model-year vehicles returned from short-term leases or rentals. Buyers Guides do not have to be posted on motorcycles and most recreational vehicles. Anyone who sells less than six cars a year doesn't have to post a Buyers Guide.

The Buyers Guide must tell you:

  • whether the vehicle is being sold "as is" or with a warranty;
  • what percentage of the repair costs a dealer will pay under the warranty;
  • that spoken promises are difficult to enforce;
  • to get all promises in writing;
  • to keep the Buyers Guide for reference after the sale;
  • the major mechanical and electrical systems on the car, including some of the major problems you should look out for; and
  • to ask to have the car inspected by an independent mechanic before you buy.

When you buy a used car from a dealer, get the original Buyers Guide that was posted in the vehicle, or a copy. The Guide must reflect any negotiated changes in warranty coverage. It also becomes part of your sales contract and overrides any contrary provisions. For example, if the Buyers Guide says the car comes with a warranty and the contract says the car is sold "as is," the dealer must give you the warranty described in the Guide.

As Is - No Warranty

When the dealer offers a vehicle "as is," the box next to the "As Is - No Warranty" disclosure on the Buyers Guide must be checked. If the box is checked but the dealer promises to repair the vehicle or cancel the sale if you're not satisfied, make sure the promise is written on the Buyers Guide. Otherwise, you may have a hard time getting the dealer to make good on his word. Some states, including Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, West Virginia and the District of Columbia, don't allow "as is" sales for many used vehicles.

Three states—Louisiana, New Hampshire, and Washington—require different disclosures than those on the Buyers Guide. If the dealer fails to provide proper state disclosures, the sale is not "as is." To find out what disclosures are required for "as is" sales in your state, contact your state Attorney General.

Implied Warranties

State laws hold dealers responsible if cars they sell don't meet reasonable quality standards. These obligations are called implied warranties—unspoken, unwritten promises from the seller to the buyer. However, dealers in most states can use the words "as is" or "with all faults" in a written notice to buyers to eliminate implied warranties. There is no specified time period for implied warranties.

Warranty of Merchantability

The most common type of implied warranty is the warranty of merchantability: The seller promises that the product offered for sale will do what it's supposed to. That a car will run is an example of a warranty of merchantability. This promise applies to the basic functions of a car. It does not cover everything that could go wrong.

Breakdowns and other problems after the sale don't prove the seller breached the warranty of merchantability. A breach occurs only if the buyer can prove that a defect existed at the time of sale. A problem that occurs after the sale may be the result of a defect that existed at the time of sale or not. As a result, a dealer's liability is judged case-by-case.

Warranty of Fitness for a Particular Purpose

A warranty of fitness for a particular purpose applies when you buy a vehicle based on the dealer's advice that it is suitable for a particular use. For example, a dealer who suggests you buy a specific vehicle for hauling a trailer in effect is promising that the vehicle will be suitable for that purpose.

If you have a written warranty that doesn't cover your problems, you still may have coverage through implied warranties. That's because when a dealer sells a vehicle with a written warranty or service contract, implied warranties are included automatically. The dealer can't delete this protection. Any limit on an implied warranty's time must be included on the written warranty.

In states that don't allow "as is" sales, an "Implied Warranties Only" disclosure is printed on the Buyers Guide in place of the "As Is" disclosure. The box beside this disclosure will be checked if the dealer decides to sell the car with no written warranty.

In states that do allow "as is" sales, the "Implied Warranties Only" disclosure should appear on the Buyers Guide if the dealer decides to sell a vehicle with implied warranties and no written warranty. A copy of the Buyers Guide with the "Implied Warranties Only" disclosure is available.

Dealers who offer a written warranty must complete the warranty section of the Buyers Guide. Because terms and conditions vary, it may be useful to compare and negotiate coverage.

Dealers may offer a full or limited warranty on all or some of a vehicle's systems or components. Most used car warranties are limited and their coverage varies. A full warranty includes the following terms and conditions.

  • Anyone who owns the vehicle during the warranty period is entitled to warranty service.
  • Warranty service will be provided free of charge, including such costs as removing and reinstalling a covered system.
  • You have the choice of a replacement or a full refund if, after a reasonable number of tries, the dealer cannot repair the vehicle or a covered system.
  • You only have to tell the dealer that warranty service is needed in order to get it, unless the dealer can prove that it is reasonable to require you to do more.
  • Implied warranties have no time limits.

If any of those statements doesn't apply, the warranty is limited.

A full or limited warranty doesn't have to cover the entire vehicle. The dealer may specify that only certain systems are covered. Some parts or systems may be covered by a full warranty; others by a limited warranty.

The dealer must check the appropriate box on the Buyers Guide to indicate whether the warranty is full or limited and the dealer must include the following information in the "Warranty" section:

  • the percentage of the repair cost that the dealer will pay. For example, "the dealer will pay 100 percent of the labor and 100 percent of the parts . . .";
  • the specific parts and systems—such as the frame, body, or brake system—that are covered by the warranty. The back of the Buyers Guide lists the major systems where problems may occur;
  • the warranty term for each covered system. For example, "30 days or 1,000 miles, whichever comes first"; and
  • whether there's a deductible and, if so, how much.

You have the right to see a copy of the dealer's warranty before you buy. Review it carefully to determine what is covered. The warranty gives detailed information, such as how to get repairs for a covered system or part. It also tells who is legally responsible for fulfilling the terms of the warranty. If it's a third party, investigate their reputation and whether they're insured. Find out the name of the insurer, and call to verify the information. Then check out the third-party company with your local Better Business Bureau. That's not foolproof, but it is prudent. Make sure you receive a copy of the dealer's warranty document if you buy a car that is offered with a warranty.

Unexpired Manufacturer's Warranties

If the manufacturer's warranty still is in effect, the dealer may include it in the "systems covered/duration" section of the Buyers Guide. To make sure you can take advantage of the coverage, ask the dealer for the car's warranty documents. Verify the information (what's covered, expiration date/miles, necessary paperwork) by calling the manufacturer's zone office. Make sure you have the Vehicle Identification Number (VIN) when you call.

Service Contracts

Like a warranty, a service contract provides repair and/or maintenance for a specific period. But warranties are included in the price of a product, while service contracts cost extra and are sold separately. To decide if you need a service contract, consider whether:

  • the service contract duplicates warranty coverage or offers protection that begins after the warranty runs out. Does the service contract extend beyond the time you expect to own the car? If so, is the service contract transferable or is a shorter contract available?
  • the vehicle is likely to need repairs and their potential costs. You can determine the value of a service contract by figuring whether the cost of repairs is likely to exceed the price of the contract.
  • the service contract covers all parts and systems. Check out all claims carefully. For example, "bumper to bumper" coverage may not mean what you think.
  • a deductible is required and, if so, the amount and terms.
  • the contract covers incidental expenses, such as towing and rental car charges while your car is being serviced.
  • repairs and routine maintenance, such as oil changes, have to be done at the dealer.
  • there's a cancellation and refund policy for the service contract and, whether there are cancellation fees.
  • the dealer or company offering the service contract is reputable. Read the contract carefully to determine who is legally responsible for fulfilling the terms of the contract. Some dealers sell third-party service contracts.

The dealer must check the appropriate box on the Buyers Guide if a service contract is offered, except in states where service contracts are regulated by insurance laws. If the Guide doesn't include a service contract reference and you're interested in buying one, ask the salesperson for more information.

If you buy a service contract from the dealer within 90 days of buying a used vehicle, federal law prohibits the dealer from eliminating implied warranties on the systems covered in the contract. For example, if you buy a car "as is," the car normally is not covered by implied warranties. But if you buy a service contract covering the engine, you automatically get implied warranties on the engine. These may give you protection beyond the scope of the service contract. Make sure you get written confirmation that your service contract is in effect.

Spoken Promises

The Buyers Guide cautions you not to rely on spoken promises. They are difficult to enforce because there may not be any way for a court to determine with any confidence what was said. Get all promises written into the Guide.

Pre-Purchase Independent Inspection

It's best to have any used car inspected by an independent mechanic before you buy it. For about $100 or less, you'll get a general indication of the mechanical condition of the vehicle. An inspection is a good idea even if the car has been "certified" and inspected by the dealer and is being sold with a warranty or service contract. A mechanical inspection is different from a safety inspection. Safety inspections usually focus on conditions that make a car unsafe to drive. They are not designed to determine the overall reliability or mechanical condition of a vehicle.

To find a pre-purchase inspection facility, check your Yellow Pages under "Automotive Diagnostic Service" or ask friends, relatives and co-workers for referrals. Look for facilities that display certifications like an Automotive Service Excellence (ASE) seal. Certification indicates that some or all of the technicians meet basic standards of knowledge and competence in specific technical areas. Make sure the certifications are current, but remember that certification alone is no guarantee of good or honest work. Also ask to see current licenses if state or local law requires such facilities to be licensed or registered. Check with your state Attorney General's office or local consumer protection agency to find out whether there's a record of complaints about particular facilities.

There are no standard operating procedures for pre-purchase inspections. Ask what the inspection includes, how long it takes, and the price. Get this information in writing.

If the dealer won't let you take the car off the lot, perhaps because of insurance restrictions, you may be able to find a mobile inspection service that will go to the dealer. If that's not an option, ask the dealer to have the car inspected at a facility you designate. You will have to pay the inspection fee.

Once the vehicle has been inspected, ask the mechanic for a written report with a cost estimate for all necessary repairs. Be sure the report includes the vehicle's make, model and VIN. Make sure you understand every item. If you decide to make a purchase offer to the dealer after considering the inspection's results, you can use the estimated repair costs to negotiate the price of the vehicle.

Vehicle Systems

The Buyers Guide lists an auto's 14 major systems and some serious problems that may occur in each. This list may help you and your mechanic evaluate the mechanical condition of the vehicle. The list also may help you compare warranties offered on different cars or by different dealers.

Dealer Identification and Consumer Complaint Information

The back of the Buyers Guide lists the name and address of the dealership. It also gives the name and telephone number of the person you should contact at the dealership if you have problems or complaints after the sale.

Optional Signature Line

The dealer may include a buyer's signature line at the bottom of the Buyers Guide. If the line is included, the following statement must be written or printed close to it: "I hereby acknowledge receipt of the Buyers Guide at the closing of this sale." Your signature means you received the Buyers Guide at closing. It does not mean that the dealer complied with the Rule's other requirements, such as posting a Buyers Guide in all the vehicles offered for sale.

Spanish Language Sales

If you buy a used car and the sales discussion is conducted in Spanish, you are entitled to see and keep a Spanish-language version of the Buyers Guide.

Private Sales

An alternative to buying from a dealer is buying from an individual. You may see ads in newspapers, on bulletin boards, or on a car. Buying a car from a private party is very different from buying a car from a dealer.

  • Private sellers generally are not covered by the Used Car Rule and don't have to use the Buyers Guide. However, you can use the Guide's list of an auto's major systems as a shopping tool. You also can ask the seller if you can have the vehicle inspected by your mechanic.
  • Private sales usually are not covered by the "implied warranties" of state law. That means a private sale probably will be on an "as is" basis, unless your purchase agreement with the seller specifically states otherwise. If you have a written contract, the seller must live up to the promises stated in the contract. The car also may be covered by a manufacturer's warranty or a separately purchased service contract. However, warranties and service contracts may not be transferable, and other limits or costs may apply. Before you buy the car, ask to review its warranty or service contract.
  • Many states do not require individuals to ensure that their vehicles will pass state inspection or carry a minimum warranty before they offer them for sale. Ask your state Attorney General's office or local consumer protection agency about the requirements in your state.

Before You Buy A Used Car

Whether you buy a used car from a dealer, a co-worker, or a neighbor, follow these tips to learn as much as you can about the car:

  • Examine the car yourself using an inspection checklist. You can find a checklist in many of the magazine articles, books and Internet sites that deal with buying a used car.
  • Test drive the car under varied road conditions—on hills, highways, and in stop-and-go traffic.
  • Ask for the car's maintenance record. If the owner doesn't have copies, contact the dealership or repair shop where most of the work was done. They may share their files with you.
  • Talk to the previous owner, especially if the present owner is unfamiliar with the car's history.
  • Have the car inspected by a mechanic you hire.

If You Have Problems

If you have a problem that you think is covered by a warranty or service contract, follow the instructions to get service. If a dispute arises, there are several steps you can take:

  • Try to work it out with the dealer. Talk with the salesperson or, if necessary, the owner of the dealership. Many problems can be resolved at this level. However, if you believe you're entitled to service, but the dealer disagrees, you can take other steps.
  • If your warranty is backed by a car manufacturer, contact the local representative of the manufacturer. The local or zone representative is authorized to adjust and decide about warranty service and repairs to satisfy customers. Some manufacturers also are willing to repair certain problems in specific models for free, even if the manufacturer's warranty does not cover the problem. Ask the manufacturer's zone representative or the service department of a franchised dealership that sells your car model whether there is such a policy.
  • Contact your local Better Business Bureau, state Attorney General, or the Department of Motor Vehicles. You also might consider using a dispute resolution organization to arbitrate your disagreement if you and the dealer are willing. Under the terms of many warranties, this may be a required first step before you can sue the dealer or manufacturer. Check your warranty to see if this is the case. If you bought your car from a franchised dealer, you may be able to seek mediation through the Automotive Consumer Action Program (AUTOCAP), a dispute resolution program coordinated nationally by the National Automobile Dealers Association and sponsored through state and local dealer associations in many cities. Check with the dealer association in your area to see if they operate a mediation program.
  • If none of these steps is successful, small claims court is an option. Here, you can resolve disputes involving small amounts of money, often without an attorney. The clerk of your local small claims court can tell you how to file a suit and what the dollar limit is in your state.
  • The Magnuson-Moss Warranty Act also may be helpful. Under this federal law, you can sue based on breach of express warranties, implied warranties, or a service contract. If successful, consumers can recover reasonable attorneys' fees and other court costs. A lawyer can advise you if this law applies.

RECIPES

4th of July

If you're hosting or attending a 4th of July party this weekend, chances are that unless it's raining - and maybe even if it is - the menu is going to be all about barbecue. That's why we're NOT going to do BBQ recipes this year. Instead, we're going to focus on the really important part of the meal - the desserts...delicious, guilt-inducing, definitely-NOT-on-your diet goodies.

Enjoy!!

Patriotic Trifle

Ingredients:

1 package (3 ounces) berry blue gelatin
1 package (3 ounces) strawberry gelatin
2 cups boiling water
1 cup cold water
2 cups cold milk
2 packages (3.4 ounces each) instant vanilla pudding mix
1 carton (8 ounces) frozen whipped topping, thawed, divided
1 pint fresh blueberries
1 quart fresh strawberries, quartered
1 prepared angel food cake (8 inches), cut into 1-inch cubes
tiny flags for decoration (Optional)

Directions:

In two small bowls, combine each gelatin flavor with 1 cup boiling water. Stir 1/2 cup cold water into each. Pour each into an ungreased 9-in. square pan. Refrigerate for 1 hour or until set.

In a large bowl, whisk milk and pudding mixes for 2 minutes. Let stand for 2 minutes or until soft-set. Fold in 2 cups whipped topping.

Set aside 1/4 cup blueberries and 1/2 cup strawberries for garnish. Cut the gelatin into 1-in. cubes. In a 3-qt. trifle bowl or serving dish, layer the strawberry gelatin, half of the cake cubes, the remaining blueberries and half of the pudding mixture.

Top with blue gelatin and remaining cake cubes, strawberries and pudding mixture. Garnish with reserved berries and remaining whipped topping. Add the flags. Serve immediately.

Yield: 16 to 20 servings


Patriotic Cupcakes

Ingredients:

1 package French vanilla cake mix
1/2 cup applesauce
3 eggs
1 cup water
2 cups (about) small fresh blueberries, divided
1/2 cup dried cherries
8 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1/2 cup confectioners' sugar or to taste
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 roll red-colored fruit snack or fruit leather

Directions:

Soak dried cherries in hot water for 15 minutes to plump. Drain thoroughly, then dry with paper towels. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line standard-size muffin tin with foil or paper muffin cups.

Combine cake mix with applesauce, eggs, and water, mixing on low speed for 30 seconds. Increase to medium speed and beat another 2 minutes. Fold in cherries.

Divide batter evenly into 24 paper-lined muffin cups. Drop 5 blueberries on top of the batter for each cupcake. Do not mix or press the blueberries into the batter.

Bake 18 to 20 minutes, until lightly browned. Cool to room temperature on wire racks before proceeding.

Beat cream cheese with confectioners' sugar and vanilla extract until smooth and creamy. Spread cream cheese frosting on tops of cooled cupcakes.

Using remaining blueberries, stud cupcakes with blueberries in rows (for stars) over the upper left quarter of the cupcake.

Cut the roll of fruit leather snack into strips 1/8 inch wide and 2 inches long. Place red fruit strips across the remainder of the cupcake surface in rows (for stripes) over frosting. Refrigerate to set frosting.

Yield: 24 cupcakes

Cool & Creamy Flag Cake

Ingredients:

1 qt. (4 cups) fresh strawberries, divided
1-1/2 cups boiling water
2 pkg. (3 oz. each) Strawberry Flavor Gelatin
ice cubes
1 cup cold water
1 pkg. (10.75 oz.) pound cake, cut into 10 slices
1-1/3 cups blueberries, divided
2 pkg. (8 oz. each) Cream Cheese, softened
1/4 cup sugar
1 tub (8 oz.) frozen Whipped Topping, thawed

Directions:

Slice 1 cup strawberries. Halve remaining strawberries. Set aside.

Add boiling water to gelatin mixes in large bowl; stir 2 min. until completely dissolved. Add ice cubes to cold water to measure 2 cups. Add to gelatin and stir until ice is completely melted. Refrigerate 5 min. or until slightly thickened.

Line the bottom of a 13x9-inch dish with cake. Add sliced strawberries and 1 cup blueberries to thickened gelatin and stir gently. Spoon over cake. Refrigerate 4 hours or until set.

Beat the cream cheese and sugar in large bowl with whisk until well blended. Stir in whipped topping. Spread over gelatin.

Arrange strawberry halves on cream cheese mixture to resemble stripes of flag. Add remaining blueberries for stars.

Yield: About 20 servings


Okay...so enough with the flag stuff...

All-American Ice Cream Cake

Ingredients:

Vanilla Ice Cream
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup oil
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk
2 tablespoons red food coloring
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 1/4 cups cake flour
1 tablespoon vinegar
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 pounds cream cheese, softened
1/2 to 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar, to taste
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Blackberry jam

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375° F.

Grease and flour a 10-inch springform pan. In a large bowl, beat together sugar, oil and eggs. Whisk in buttermilk. In a small bowl, combine food coloring and cocoa. Add to egg mixture. Sift salt and flour into batter and mix well. Combine vinegar and baking soda in a small bowl and add to batter. Immediately pour batter into prepared pan and bake 30-40 minutes. Cool cake in the pan for 10 minutes, then remove from pan and cool completely.

Slice cake horizontally into three equal layers. Place bottom layer back into springform pan. Spread with approximately 1 cup of softened ice cream to make a 1-inch layer. Freeze until solid.

Spread blackberry jam on top of ice cream layer and place second cake layer on top. Spread with another layer of ice cream and freeze.

Top with jam and last cake layer. Freeze until solid.

Whip cream cheese until light and fluffy. Add sugar and vanilla. Mix well.

Unmold the cake onto a platter and coat with cream cheese frosting. Freeze until 15 minutes before serving time. Use a knife dipped in hot water to cut slices.

Serves 16-20


Strawberry-Bluberry Pudding Pie

Ingredients:

3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 cups milk
3 egg yolks, lightly beaten
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 pint heavy cream
1 1/2 tablespoons confectioners' sugar
1 (9 inch) pie shell, baked
1 pint fresh strawberries, halved
1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries

Directions:

In a 3-qt. saucepan, combine sugar, flour and salt. Add milk, stirring until smooth. Cook and stir over medium heat until thickened. Stir in small amount of milk mixture into yolks, then return all to saucepan. Cook, stirring for 2 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in butter and vanilla. Cool 20 minutes.

Pour into pie shell and chill several hours until firm.

Whip cream and sugar and spread half over pie filling. Arrange berries on cream. Dollop or pipe remaining cream around edge of pie.

Yield: 8 servings


Chocolate Toffee Caramel Bars

Ingredients:

1 pkg. yellow cake mix
1/2 c. oil
2 eggs
1 (12-oz.) pkg. mini semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 c. white vanilla chips
3 (1.4 oz.) chocolate-covered toffee candy bars, cut into pieces (if you freeze these, they chop up easier)
1/2 c. butter
32 vanilla caramels, unwrapped
1 (14-oz.) can sweetened condensed milk

Directions:

Heat oven to 350.

Grease 13"x9" pan. In a large bowl, combine cake mix, oil and eggs; blend well. Stir in chocolate chips, vanilla chips and candy bar piece. (Mixture will be thick). Press half of mixture in bottom of greased pan.
Bake 350 for 10 min.

Meanwhile, in medium saucepan, combine butter, caramels and sweetened condensed milk. Cook over medium-low heat until caramels are melted and mixture is smooth, stirring occasionally. Slowly pour caramel mixture evenly over partially baked crust. Top with remaining cake mix mixture.

Bake an additional 25-30 min. or until top is set and edges are deep golden brown. Cool 20 minutes. Run knife around sides of pan to loosen bars. Cool 40 minutes.

Refrigerate 1 hr. Cut into bars. Store in refrigerator.

Yield: 24 servings


Uncle Sam Pretzel Candies

Ingredients:

10 ounces white chocolate baking squares or almond bark coating
24 thin pretzel sticks
24 dry roasted peanuts
12 large marshmallows, each cut in half vertically
24 mini marshmallows
1 10-ounce package round, candy-coated chocolate candies

Directions:

Cover 2 cookie sheets with waxed paper, set aside. Heat white chocolate or almond bark coating in a microwave safe bowl for 2 minutes on high or until melted. Stir until smooth. Select 24 red candies and 48 blue candies. Set aside remaining candies for another use.

To assemble the "Uncle Sam" faces, place a teaspoon of the melted white chocolate in an oval shape on the waxed paper. Press a marshmallow half on the top of the melted chocolate oval for a hat. Press a pretzel stick (horizontally) directly below it to make a hat brim. Then place 2 blue chocolate candies for eyes, a peanut for the nose and a red chocolate candy for the mouth. Press a mini marshmallow below the mouth for a goatee.

Repeat with remaining ingredients to make 24 Uncle Sams. Allow to harden for a few minutes, then remove candies from waxed paper.

Yield: 2 dozen candies


Brownie Ice Cream Sandwiches

Ingredients:

1 1/2 sticks (6 ounces) unsalted butter, plus more for greasing
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
2 large eggs
1 cup all-purpose flour
Pinch of salt
1 1/2 quarts ice cream (any flavor), softened

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350°. Line a 12-by-16-inch jelly-roll pan or rimmed baking sheet with aluminum foil, tucking the foil around the edges of the pan. Butter the foil.

In a medium saucepan over low heat, melt the butter. Remove from the heat and whisk in the cocoa powder, sugar and vanilla until smooth. Add the eggs, 1 at a time, stirring after each addition. Add the flour and salt and stir until smooth.

Scrape the batter into the prepared baking pan and smooth into an even 1/8-inch-thick layer. Bake until the surface feels dry, about 10 minutes. (The brownie should be soft.) Let cool in the pan for 10 minutes. Invert the pan to release the brownie and carefully remove the foil. Using the pan, press down firmly on the brownie to flatten. Let cool 30 minutes, pressing occasionally to flatten.

Cut the brownie into 2-by-4-inch rectangles, discarding the tough edges. Working quickly, spread a 1-inch layer of the softened ice cream onto a brownie, top with a second brownie, wrap in parchment or waxed paper and freeze immediately. Repeat with the remaining brownies.

Note: Line your kitchen countertop with parchment or waxed paper before inverting and flattening the brownie to keep it from sticking.

Yield: 8 sandwiches


Finally, one of the staff came across these photos and thought they were perfect for a Fourth of July celebration. There are no recipes, but we thought anyone who's okay with cake decorating could make them using thier own cake and frosting recipes.

You'll find the originals along with many other photos of interesting cakes Lori has made at her Piece of Cake blog

Happy Fourth!!

HUMOR

Strange Statistics - Guns vs. Doctors

Doctors

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.

(B) The number of accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000.

(C) The number of accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Guns

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million.)

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.

(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .0000188.

Statistics courtesy of FBI

SO, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'

Fact: Not everyone has a gun, but almost everyone has at least one doctor.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.

We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand.

Out of concern for the public at large, we withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.



Sort-of-patriotic Groaners

Any readers who have children, or who will encounter children at a 4th of July party, will want to copy these to use on them. Use on adults is undertaken at your own risk.

Q. What would you get if you crossed the first signer of the Declaration of Independence with a rooster?
A. John Hancock-a-doodle-doo!

Q. What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?
A. Beneduck Arnold!

Q. What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?
A. The Boston Flea Party!

Q. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?
A. The Americans licked the British!

Q. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?
A. Because the horse was too heavy to carry!

Q. Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
A. To get to the other tide!

Q. What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
A. Yankee Poodle!

Q. Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
A. Yeah, it cracked me up!

Q. What did one flag say to the other flag?
A. Nothing. It just waved!

Q. What's red, white, blue, and gross?
A. Uncle Spam!

Q. What's red, white, black and blue?
A. Uncle Sam falling down the steps!

Q. Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
A. At the chopping mall!

Q. What kind of tea did the American colonists like most?
A. Liberty!

Q. Which colonists told the most jokes?
A. Punsylvanians!

Q. What would you get if you crossed Washington's home with nasty insects?
A. Mt. Vermin!

Q. Which one of Washington's officers had the best sense of humour?
A. Laughayette!

Q. What did King George think of the American colonists?
A. He thought they were revolting!

Q. Why were the early American settlers like ants?
A. Because they lived in colonies.



Once upon a time in a place overrun with monkeys, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, they became harder to catch, so the villagers stopped their effort. The man then announced that he would now pay $20 for each one.

This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. But soon the supply diminished even further and they were ever harder to catch, so people started going back to their farms and forgot about monkey catching.

The man increased his price to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so sparse that it was an effort to even see a monkey, much less catch one.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys for $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf.

While the man was away the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has bought. I will sell them to you at $35 each and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.'

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. They never saw the man nor his assistant again and once again there were monkeys everywhere.

And now you know how the stock market works.



A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners.

At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10."

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.

Revelation 3:20 begins, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."

Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was naked."



Bear Alert

The Massachusetts State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishers, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the Chelmsford, Lowell, North Reading and Carlisle areas.

They advise that people wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly. They also advise the carrying of pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear.

It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of bear activity. People should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings.

Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.

Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper.


Suzanne was leaving her job at an insurance claims office.

Here is how we imagine things went...

Bakery's phone rings.

Language-challeneged bakery employee: Hello. XYZ bakery.

Customer: Hello. I'd like to order a cake for a going away party this afternoon. We'll pick it up at 3 PM.

Employee: What kind of cake you want?

Customer: A chocolate cake with white frosting and some flowers.

Employee: Okay, What you want it to say?

Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne'

Employee: That's it?

Customer: No. Underneath that, 'We will miss you.'

Employee: Okay.

Around 4 PM, the customer picked up the cake and took it back to the office. At four, everyone gathered for the party and someone opened the cake box...



 

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